My life,my fate..

storyboard

2011-04-07T23:09:00.003+08:00

淡淡的。。

2011-03-17T19:42:00.000+08:00

这不是爱

突如其来的有这种感觉，在昨天。。

这不是爱

看了场戏，搞笑爱情片吧。。

其中，有某部分触动了我。。不知道他怎么想。。

那份触动，不是“来电”。。是，一份让我有一丝后知后觉的感觉。。带点后悔遗憾。。

这不是爱

遗憾的是。。为什么没接那通电话。。

不知道，戏里的那幕，是不是你我想像的一样呢？

那份感觉，不像从前所有的。。

是一份，有种让我觉得很持久，很平淡可是又很深刻的。。一份情。。但这不是爱情。。

会不会又一次的后悔？不知道。。至少，不做任何事，是最明智的。。

说的对，可能我就是没有脚的小鸟吧。。哈哈。。

能抒发在这里。。是我最能够做的了。。

如果，真的很不幸的，让你看见了。。不慌张，不避忌。。因为这份感觉，不会在现实中存在，被发现，被找到。。 =)

I.C.U

2011-02-16T17:36:00.000+08:00

终于，我哭了。

At last, I did cried..

Everytime I would just realise the cause to make my mood so bad at last..

It: makes me cry, makes me feel weird to my friends, makes me become a bitxh..

I found the problem, I guess...

So, I need time, some time.. 1..no, 2 days, or probably 2 weeks, or months..perhaps..

But the problem will not be solve but just buried instead...

Back to December..

2011-02-12T01:43:00.000+08:00

心，真的很痛。。

不，是很乱。。

对，我今天终于遇回他了。。

其实，有时偶尔会想，他就就读我家附近，会不会，就有一天在路上遇见呢。。

原来，这遇见，一点有不好受。。好辛苦。。

那一瞬间的讶异。。让我要立刻的摆出从容不迫的样子。。手都在战抖，说真的。。我当时真的没心情做任何事。。好乱。。

口在笑，表现自然，都是为了尽量压抑我内心的情绪。。是澎湃吗？不。是紧张吗？可能吧。是伤心吗？我想是。。

我知道，我不能让自己停下来，我不能让自己有哪一点点时间去思考，不能让自己去回忆当初的任何一点一滴。。我不能，我好痛。。我不知道会怎样。。

在志良家，其实想冲进厕所里哭。。在车上，又播着那首歌。。为什么在这时候播。。好想在车上哭。。

我好痛。。

每一句歌词。。都深深的刺入我的心里。。

我每次都和自己说，心骏。。你很坚强的。。你能的。。你会没事的。。

可我知道，从那第一眼的重遇，我又输了。。

我好痛。。

好犯贱。。因为，我真的有想过主动去找他聊。。我甚至还想到，要那他的电话号码。。

开回我以前的电话，等着。。白痴

我知道那只是空等。。因为，那要出现的信息，不会在等到今天才出现。。

我想了好久好久。。我真的不知道要向谁倾诉。。好朋友中，真的没有一个。。对不起。。

让我寂寞寂寞就好？可能吧。。

原来伤心，不一定要有什么大事发生-- 可能就只是回忆
原来痛苦，不一定要有什么东西刺着-- 可能就只是执着

忘记，是我这生人要学习的吧。。
放开，是我这生人要领悟的吧。。对不起，我都做不到。。

好了，等了好久。。电话，还是电话。。关上它，让它休息吧。。天真的它，也就让它和它的希望都沉睡吧。

那我呢？我好累。。不想了。。晚安。。

杂。真

2011-01-16T02:44:00.002+08:00

是有感而发吗？还是因为最近的情绪都蛮忐忑，起伏较大？

近期都被网路游戏给迷住了..想了好多东西，都没机会写下来..

每次，都是在夜阑人静的时候..
电脑关上了，对着漆黑的夜晚时，才想到很多东西出来..

或许已经习惯了，习惯了在夜晚思考。。把整天做过的事情再整理一番。。

或许也真的是习惯了，习惯了这个假期。。习惯了身边的一切。。

好不惯哦。。不喜欢有太大改变。。

我们都在变么？人说啊：世界，无时无刻都在转，在改；所以做人也是一样。。

现在的我听到，好难过。。

好朋友和我说，在决定去做某些事情时，不是因为你不敢，不是因为你不要，也不是因为那是错的。。而是。。当决定去做了后，完了，不理是好是坏，是对是错，那回忆，才是可怕的。。

有时，真的讨厌回忆。。不想去留念，也不想去记起了。。

最后也再顺便说说。。有件事，真的弄得我好想。。

我每天望着它，看着它，可是，自己的执着，弄得我哭笑不得。。

算了，表达不出。。抱歉。。只想说声：月亮啊，你整天说是我的因故，是我。。是我。。

可是我好累啊。。真的是我吗？我捡了十元，最后，却掉了更多。。糟了，眼泪忽然涌出。。哈哈。。傻傻的。。

参杂了太多思绪，我也分不清了。。

红色字的，解到的，就说声谢谢你咯。。解不到的，对不起。。表达能力有限。。 :) 晚安。。

Sell Fish

2010-12-02T10:58:00.000+08:00

I really cant stand for those people who thought they are smart always, making a holy right decision every time when they INTENDED. Gosh, What the hell?

Don't you think you are just a foolish person? You are INTERRUPTING! I don't bother whether what extent of cause you will bring due to your "smartness", but i just can't tolerate anymore!

Even it is just a small matter, so what? I bet you know what i am thinking.. Can't just don't be that stxpid? god..

Please don't build your own pleasure, happiness or even an advantage by taking a risk or definitely sacrificing someone's. We are not your base for you to build!

What a selfish fellow..

I will post this because it is not the first time i encountered. You better think and behave yourself, before all of your friends and family leave you! I think I had tried to tell you and give advice.. I had done enough..

By the way, I won't tell anyone about who I am talking. And please don't ask as well as i don't want to break our relationship no matter friends or family, or whatever..

Thanks...

And ah.... I think every time after I posted up in my blog, I will be better, so... Don't worry much but hope you can make your own correction also! All I want to say is: "Zha Dao lor!!!!!!!"

Blog-chat

2010-11-30T10:10:00.002+08:00

This blog will probably be deleted or saved to draft after today 5.30-6pm.. hahaha! Just for the purpose of blog chatting!!! :P

心结

2010-11-28T21:16:00.001+08:00

原来，我的心里还是会有那个阴影。。

有时，会不由自主的生气你。。有时候会想，换作是别人，或以前的你。。我不会。。

是刺吗？我不懂。。

多希望那根刺是扎在我的手，我的脚，而不是那已无力抵抗而脆弱的心。。

即使心里那澎湃的火再怎么火热燃烧，你那一句话，也好比万吨洪水，毫不留情的把它给灭得奄奄一息。。

其实，很多次都不是故意的。。但就是会想和你少扯上关系。。

可能，是不想像以前那样。。伤得深了吧。。

伤？感觉好诡异喔。。哈哈。。看吧，我表达能力真的有限。。。

但，我还是相信。。就算怎样，我们之间还是会有个稳固的基础吧。。虽然，说实在的。。我真的有恨过你。。也对你绝对心死过。。

痛苦的回忆难以忘了，避免你又来拨动我的心跳，唯有把那难忘的缘与情都了。。（万芳-新不了情，改）

朋友啊，我都很高兴有你们。。有了你们，我再难过，也会得到安慰。。

但，你们看了这篇后，可以的，送上一句慰问就行了。。可以说的，我都会很乐意和你们分享的。。也就不用再私底下问我了。。但我还是会很开心，很珍惜你们的鼓励与安慰。。谢！

Short but me.

2010-11-22T16:04:00.000+08:00

Yea..My second reopen of my blog..haiz...

Really wondering, why everytime when i re-open my blog cant just because of happiness but misery..

Actually i just change the whole new design of my blog, I intended to be happier, a fresh new DEX.

But.. Now i cant even promise myself to keep happy everyday.. Aihss...

The main main cause of all these bullshxt things: I am in holiday now..

I hate sem break... I hate it...

I dont want it to be happened again...

And.. going to start my blog chat with someone now.. I think i will update it everyday till the start of my "internship", is it a "intern"? depressed.

2010-07-05T11:55:00.002+08:00

事情原来从来没被想通过。。

我还是我。。

不是我的我，不是我。。

硬要来。。万念俱灰。。

我不再累了，我不再伤心了。。至少，在“人”面前。。

说没不开心是假的，说不累是骗你的。。

说要开心，是我说的。。但，只是说的。。

带我走，到遥远的以后。。带走我，一个人自转的寂寞。。
蔷薇朝向草原尽头，邮差传来一地彩虹。。
割在心中，拍打着脉搏。。

杨心骏

2010-06-30T22:27:00.002+08:00

决定了，做个正面乐观的人。。---> 5.30pm

当走下楼时，耳边传来了旧邻居的逝世消息。。

家人都在纷纷讨论，我加入。。

脸部表现得似无所谓，甚至脸带微笑。。但，心里早已凌乱不堪。。

抱歉，真的不能冷静下来。。思绪一片混乱。。

很想把所有所有都抛诸脑后。。可双手不受控制。。

拨电给你。。很想告诉你，今天，我做不到正面的人。。

失败了。。

在车上，听着王菲的天空。。不停重复着。。

明明只有短短那5分钟车程。。但我不想，不想回去胡思乱想。。

但在车里，又能不想么？

当下只有一个冲动--把车驶到kepong去。。不知道，就真的有这个冲动。。

可能想静静一人在车里吧。。

重复的听了上十次。。

驶车到MRR2半路，拐了个弯，回家去。。可能想到，就算真的去到了kepong,又怎样？

8pm 还有个约会。。

面对友人，我嘻嘻哈哈。。真的不漏一丝忧伤。。

回复信息，我说我没事。。

是真的吗？是吧。。至少我给大脑发出的命令是这样。。

在想什么？邻居逝世的伤感？还是今天不好的心情？不懂。。可能都有关系吧。。

顺便说说。。其实，直到现在。。也在等待你的来电。。

但，当下我可能不会接。。因为我已对你说我没事了。。可我知道，对话中，我隐瞒不了。。

不是不告诉你。。只是。。现在的我，不是刚刚的我。。我真的试过第一时间找你。。

也在等你信息的回复。。

缘分吧。。

真的没事，就。。在此抒发一下心情。。 :)

星期二

2010-06-29T18:49:00.003+08:00

突然之间的改变，我说我没事。。是假的。。真的好不能接受last minute 的改变。。

其实我应该一早就别放太大期望。。那我就不会失望。。

我没讨厌你，反而。。我感到很抱歉。。真的。。

昨晚，见你心情欠佳。。又听说你怕会闷，当然。。其实我心里也是很想，很想去。。所以，就答应了你。。

昨晚，连睡前都在紧张着。。今天，真的充满期待。。

但是。。刚才，我真的不知道要找什么借口让我去了。。

我知道，你想我去。。我也真的很想去。。但是我们都默不作声，是因为大家都知道事情已经没得改变了吗?

我要再次道歉。。

1.还记得你刚刚说你心情不好，想出去玩。。但我却要你留在我店，还要你帮我做工。。弄得你没得去看戏。。

2.过后也没有陪到你去和朋友庆生。。

3。听到你说心情不好，也想不到要如何帮你。。

对不起。。

希望一杯的Sundae strawberry能拭去我的一切: 我的不快乐，我对你点点的。。不满？我不懂。。啊！！！！！

发现，最近post的blog都很烂。。haiz..算了，只想抒发下我的感受。。erm..2/7 的晚上11pm就删除掉吧。。

我希望你能看到。。如果我们真的有缘。。

想通了

2010-06-27T10:51:00.002+08:00

昨天。。

谈了一通很长，很长的电话。。

让我终于整理好了很多东西。。组织好了，也想通了，肯定了。。

真的要谢谢你。。让本来难以入睡的我，有个甜美的梦。。

我也决定了。。

要告诉你。。

顿时激情，是很好，很快乐。。但有谁又能做到细水长流？

就是我！和你！和你！

我们一起努力，好吗？

我们一起维持，好吗？

在2010年，6月27日！有了一个，想通了一点点的我。。hehe..

Memorable day! ^.^

2010-06-22T22:44:00.003+08:00

Now i was like : ngo hou~hoi sam~~ ngo hou~hoi sam~~ :D

hahahahahaha!!!

Today really not bad.. ^.^

lots of things happened..haha!

god..can't write anything out..hahahaha!!! wait....erm.... ok, first thing is..i am now a taylor student, no more IMU! hahahaa!

ok! today schedule:

morning , go ampang eat "ampang yong tau fu", bungkus curry puff eat at car--DC

then

go for a KL tour for searching the Hotel Istana..and give someone gek dao me breathless, I really can find the location by myself ok?! (still angry) kidding la! hahaha!--DC

Go IMU!!! get my MQA transcript and ask for my deposit refund! wow~~ $$ ahaha!--DC

Go Subang meet lhs and register for my CMM course in taylor, then have a brief taylor lakeside campus tour--DCL

A long distance to get back to KL.. during the time, we STOPPED at the halfway of NKVE to clean my car! cause my car was full of curry puff fragments and..egg,smarties..=.= omg!! soooo crazy~ hahahahahahahahaha!!!

then we via NKVE, skipped DUKE and went to KL..

We DID TRIED MANY NEW ROAD TODAY..hahaa!

when we reach KL area, again.. breathless.. GIVE PEOPLE ZAT!! yeala~i know i am stuck in memorise of roads and ways, PRINCE OF DIRECTION!! :P hahaha!

hey, even i wrote like that doesnt mean i am angrying you..i am really enjoy it.. enjoy my breathless moment.. =.= hahahahaha!! kidding.. hehe..

Then we decided to go TS for shopping!!! wow..nope, actualy is just for us to buy bags..but then our final "harvest" is..JACKET!! omg! i love it!! please tell me you love yours too.. hehe..

Then we back Setapak to choose spec.. Unfortunately, have to go again tomorrow..cause someone is too tired and the eyes too watery so the degree can't be stabilise..~~ hahaha!

But..tell you a secret..actually i am quite happy cause tomorrow can sneak out again..hhaha! I MUST EAT THE VEGETARIAN FOOD AH~! :P

Today overall really quite happy and lots of fun..especially the shopping part..haha! hope can shop next time leh.. want??? hahahah!

But honestly, abit disapointed..about the snacks: smarties, halls, "don't know what brand's sour sweet..haha!" Haiz...but i think is fate,cause i have to work till 6 and you have dinner at 8 and, so lucky you found the senior report..haha!

But anyway, I am really quite good mood today leh...so, i must write it here! cause i know maybe tomorrow i will maybe emo and sad again..haiz..

anything if i missed just tell me then i will add-on in it..haha!

No need to view it, just----please try ur best to reply my sms

2010-06-10T00:19:00.003+08:00

deng!!!!!!! 好像白痴酱！！

我觉得我真的好像一个白痴酱！很cheap lo!!!

you told me that if i having anything sad must say out and express it, so as i thought of that ok?!

Today the whole day i was like an idiot! damn shit!
Now i going to swear!!! who no reply my SMS is shit for me!!!

I damn hate people no reply my sms lo! especially when its important and make sense!

I was keep thinking myself, even i fxcking stupid to think tat maybe its my fault! omg!

I know u are SAD! so fine! i keep myself in a fridge, but i can stand it anymore! deng!

Caring people also can care dao i so angry..huh!

Actualy i m quite disapointed on you also, i was pending for the whole night for u to call me, call lan jiao!!!!!

Honestly, i really think to DONT ever sms u anymore...what for? meaningless ok? i mean,even ur hp run out of credit, there are tons of other ways too..the whole night i was anxious untill i saw ur shit FB status comment!

Putting much efford on u is useless! damn!

This is ME laaa...

2010-06-06T00:05:00.004+08:00

Absolutely.. yea.. I am so happy..

Yesterday :

we played alot.. : "sailor moon" transform, FengShui TV show record--in SALOON! haha!
My lungs were meant to collapse when keep listening to YR's part.. :P

Today:

We went 1U again..yay! ---Wong Kok time!! XD
We played 大电视, i think about at least 4 HOURS!!! hahaha!
I had so much fun..especially when we got into the time taken part..
And i am so surprise to have privity with HS at first.. wow...0.08sec to guess right a question..

But then..0.07, 0.06, 0.05, ...0.04!!

YR and MY!! wow! nice grouping with speed!

ahhhh...at last at last.. ... .... ... ... ... ... 0.02!!!! hahaha!! first time having the closest time with..CL! hehe..(second row above snoopy)

aihhs...really so nice,i mean today's trip..so long didnt have so much fun..

The photos showed the evidences of Me and CL's incredible record..haha! ahh..i know, there is one also, CL, Me and YR.. but still..i feel happy when having the right signal with you.. ^.^

And when we were going back to the parking, SANITISER WAR STARTED! omg! i dont want to play!! why... =.=.. i was so scared and phobia after CL SHOCKED ME!!! haha..actually i am not angrying..just.. really "no gas" after got the second shock by you guys.. =.= I felt that i were going to faint.. phew..now keep coughing.. *.*

Actually..lots of things happend recently..First time i felt that I AM REALLY LOST..with grief and loneliness..

Have to choose again..fedup..But i have to..I knew that..Better to take the turning point now since its not too late before i regretted for my life..

Yes, being a doctor is a vocation and holy job..Its not just that simple as the medical term is hard,or there is tons of things to memorise, its the real responsibilities that being a doctor should takes.. Somehow you are growing with the society, and life is handling IN YOUR HAND!

I think CL and YR will still remember that there is a case about me in a night when i driving home from kepong.. Actually i know that, its really not that serious for me to feel such guilty i am..But, i just cant take it.. I think you will understand me better..

Sorry guys, i didnt tell you guys..Even i am not willing to face this again..Tell you when the time is right..

Ok, back to the topic.. i am going to change my course...
Details will tell you, just sms me or make a call ok? ^.^

But the most important thing is.. I wanna thank you guys..faithfully..

Thank you YeeWen,我很感动 when you ask me to install "skype" then chat and discuss my condition and suggest for my way..

Thank you Pek Teng, 我很感动 when you said that " hey,why keep say thank you?! this is we called that BEST FRIEND is!"

Thank you Mei Yin, 我很感动 when you care about me and wanna 今天不回家 with me when i got my result.. ^.^

Thank you Hui Sun, 我很感动 when you said that : Why haiz?Whatever course or decision you chose we still be with you and supporting you de leh..

Thank you Yong Rong, 我很感动 when you accompanied me to school for meeting with my counsellor in the EARLY MORNING for TWO TIMES! and no complain,with support!

Thank you CHEE LEONG, 我很感动 when you keep by my side, tried to do what you can with your heart, giving me advice and let me feel that you are 24hour supporting me..when i am sad..

Actually there is alot to say still, i just pointed out some of that..

Everytime i think of those..I really feel to cry..i know that i am weak..But cant just ignore it..

I am sure i had missed out alot of things to write here..But i guess, you will get what i mean.. Things will cant just missing in our memory if we done it together with truth happiness and sadness.. ^.^

Ok,tomorrow having an audition.. :P JUST DONT ASK ME ABOUT THAT AFTER TOMORROW WHEN YOU DIDNT SEE MY JOY ON FB! haha!!

2010.05.25 2338--with an empty heart..

2010-05-25T23:21:00.003+08:00

i want to cry..

i am emo again..

i am lost suddenly..in this world...

"isn't this world a crazy place? you gonna save the best for last.."

Yea..i am a boy...who feel emo and cry..

i hate myself being like that! what the bullxxxx is me?

yea..i admit it..everytime i feel wanna cry and emo..i feel to find you to talk...but i lost you, maybe i deserved it.

Sometimes,,really like tends to find a life partner..to share my everything..when i was sad..But its such a selfish thing..i shouldnt do that...i should hurt someone with their love and faith but my selfishness..love is not a counseller...

But..even an aquarious will also tired..tired of loneliness, tired of its own characteristic.. tired of everything...

Dont know why, frequently getting more and more emo ...

My friends..I wanna tell you something..the passing gate of my life turning point..i am complicated..

No people like to listen sadness, crying and mumblings..I deserved to no one..

i am tired...Can i lend your shoulder when i need it? I will pay back with my tears..

No comment to give and shut up if you choose to view this!

2010-04-23T21:37:00.004+08:00

"why people angrying someone can just simply express it out? dont you think i am also having the same feeling? mine even worse ok? But if for me, why i have to tolerance it and express it alone by myself ?..crap."
Just now. Feel to put the sentences above to facebook..But just at the second to click "post", I cut it out.. Cause i think composing a post here can more effective to express myself..

I am really in bad mood, NOT JUST BECAUSE OF ANGRYING PEOPLE OOK?
I am tired. DAMN FUCKING BITCHES TIRED after driving from Sri Petaling to Desapark.
But fine. I suggested that, so i had to pay the consequences.

I suggested and i am ok to drive the god long road, because i hoped that we could have fun later..
But I dont know what fucking reason, she is here..Fine. She said she just sit there and listen us.
STARTED RAINING.. fine.

We changed and went your house..
You suggested to karaoke.

Fine. i said i am whatever.. Cause I think we WILL continue to practise after that.
Second reason is also to not let her be bored there cause she will have nothing to do when we start practising.

Fine. Sang about 2-3 hours.
Then, again, dont know what bull shit reason you started react and respond like BULL SHIT!

Fine. I thought you were tired. But then you told me that you were angrying me? What the FUCK!?
What did i do?

Since before i am already in bad mood.. but i still have to fucking act like normal and laughing, singing..
But you? You just put all your shit expression on your face! How about me? Why couldnt i?
I hate karaoke, what for? we planned to practise our song, WHY KARAOKE?
Ok, we 3 people, why she is here? YOU KNOW SHE WILL BE BORED!

After finished karaoke, I thought we will start.. But your mum then backed.
AND YOU SUGGESTED TO PLAY CARD!

Since that second, I knew that today are wasted!
We planned whole fucking night, to come here and practise.
I am tired.
She came and stuck there.
RAIN
KARAOKE
Dont know what fucking reason you emo and started angrying me.
PLAY CARDS
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS: I STILL HAVE TO REACT LIKE NOTHING, LAUGHING! SHIT ENJOYING! mother fucker you bitch!

I had argued with my family..I damn stress for my exam..And they still keep giving me pressure,now my friends..

you know what i am thinking now? i have no family in my life, no friend, and shit have to exam next week..

Sympathy is useless for me now..

Fine, just let me die!

Where's my lucky star?

2010-03-08T23:33:00.003+08:00

Twinkle twinkle little star..Where's my lucky star?

Maybe you will dont know what i mean..Well, lets tell you a story..beginning from a little boy called "shin jiunn".. haha...

He was actually not that smart as you thought.. took PTS, went in independent high school, passed all 6 years without repeating any 1 of those years to study, got a quite qualified UEC result and finally gone through IELTS and MUET examinations then succeeded to get into U to study medicine... I got all that..But sometimes, i am just wondering whether is there a lucky star, residing the sky above me, and give me luck always?

However, my little star abandoned me..Leave me alone in a white box..sometimes when i sitting inside,especially in the deep midnight, i will silently stare at the sky,try to search the star that belongs to me..but everytime when i stare, there are just dark and disapointment, with a crying moon hanging there, with loneliness and sorrow..

Ok, fact is, I took my CPR theory exam and I "thought" I will surely pass it but i FAILED... Honestly, i had work hard to study it and somemore the truth is, the questions that came out was so directly and i were answer them correctly at least 40/50..But? .....Some of my friends said that its just random failing..Sure, i was angry and upset when heard that.. Firstly is, WHAT A CRITERIA IS THAT? Gosh...

Second thing is, am i really that unlucky to be the "CHOSEN ONE"?

Today during the break time, someone announced that there was an updated passing list of CPR result to check.. beam of hope came into my life, and at that time i were really hope that god will give me one more chance.. and, yea.. finally I admitted two things.. 1. Maybe I were really answered so many wrong answers. 2. I have no more luck at all since now.. because..After double checked, I am still failed..

I am here not to blame that why I will fail this, fail that.. Just to share with you guys about things that happened on me and wanna tell you guys that.. I am really damped. Really need to take some times to heal it, thanks for your sweet, it helped but not the medicine for me, btw i still very X10 appreciate that what you've done to me.. Thank you.

Here to talk about one more thing..that..I think that i am really a person who believe fate..

I tried hard to try to access you to tell you all my things but fate didnt allow, I really hope you this best friend will listen to me and understand and give me any support that you can but, fate didnt allow.. even just now we had a talk, but..i dont know why, like we just cant reach a point of our channel.. Maybe that is fate, that we already reach the maximum? I dont know, but at least i am not willing to end at this point, my friend.. Really, i am not to blame on you for anything, i have my reasons and you have yours,maybe you are just tired or whatever.. Well, lets leave it to our karma...

Friends forever, happy together...

Simple-meaningful D"ex"AY

2010-01-21T03:19:00.003+08:00

I wrote many, my opinion..my feeling..But, when its almost done..I cleared them all...not feeling well while writting those stuff... Today, opps!...should be yesterday...was my birthday..I cant let those words spoil my only day... :P pissed off!!

Ok...I did feel touching and really happy that my friends celebrated my birthday with me at a nice restaurant... Food is the second, but you guys are the most reason that made me fulled... ^.^

Speechless... omg..

Fine,lastly.. actually i think i am just coward... to spend more time in my school, to enjoy together with my U friends...Its not because of the loneliness problem or that i have to LS to my IMU friends that made me not to involve myself much in school...Its because, I am afraid... that i will fade away from my old best friends after knowing the new ones.. I dont wanna get this change.. I am less confidence for myself to guarantee that i wont.. sooooooo shxt!

Tell me that i wont... and i will never ever do that..

night guys..

Soaring Bird. I am Dex

2010-01-18T04:07:00.002+08:00

I do. I really do have this feeling.

My first video done...Myself, spending few hours in examine, observe, try, failed, try.. failed, and try... Finally, successfully edited my 1st short-movie..

yea..its really short..just about 1 minute more... But.. :) i know you can feel how the feeling of succeed and joy i have those right now though my eyes are spinning and head is like dumped.. =.=

yea..its true..I can really feel the touching part of the movie although we didnt mean it before when shooting.. haha...

Its a parody of " yu yan sang-birdnest" --- "shou zhao lv cha"... Hope you will like and....erm...enjoy~ ^.^

Last Begging

2010-01-15T03:00:00.005+08:00

Being hesitated for a long time,wondering whether i should update my blog today or not..But apparently, you can see my final decision.. ^.^

Why am i considered so long about it? Cause its 3am now!! I really have to re-regulate my so called "bio-clock"... =.= Cant always sleep such late..Will be dying when coming to open school...

Actually, I am quite moody today... (hate that i am always have such negative feeling!!) I dont know why.. No reason? Not exactly.. Maybe its about that i have to help my sis to deliver some important document to my friend which could be done easily if i CAN wake in the morning so that i can pass to my friend before she went back.. =.= But i failed, so i have to drive there to JUST deliver those "stuff"... Feeling that its quite wasting petrol, time, and energy..haiz.. But i had to do this cause its my fault to overslept..

Sure not just about that could make me emo.. :I have no money, I have to work in dad's office, I have a school project to finish, and because.. my.. my birthday is near.. =.=

"My.. my birthday is near.." ??? Yeah, dont feel any confuse.. because years before, the days around and also exact on my birthday were not "ordinary" days.. "Somethings" will happens that..totally ruin my "birthday mood".. aikhss..

Friend, I had really thought about to open the X'mas gift you gave me: little "sad-then open" tip boxes, but time didnt allow me to. After i got back to home and settled things down, it changed. I felt not that down and negative as i felt in the day time. By the way, I cried when driving in the car. Feel shameful.

As long as now everythings felt alright.

Today's sleeping wish: no sadness, no emo, happiness gathered, happy together.

X: mute :X

2010-01-12T01:50:00.003+08:00

Chilling in my room..and i think today i wont be too late to get into sleep..

today, friends and me were talking about--definition bout handsome and beautiful...but i have no mood to talk about it right now..Whatever, all i think is..doesnt matter if you just look normal, confidence brings graceful..

Why am i such dumb and fxcking depressed now? actually.."fxcking" doesnt mean that i am angrying..just...suddenly feel that i am quite nothing...Feel that i am quite far apart from my friends, of their souls, deep in their minds..

Maybe the fact is, i am not well understanding them huh? Or..i am just keep ignoring and avoiding that, thats my problem? funny...

this post is pointless..sorry guys for who had spent a couple of minutes in reading it.. take care..

Dex-juice 11012010

2010-01-11T03:39:00.004+08:00

Today is 2010/01/11, 3.40am...headache, due to "3.40am"!!!..but still the mood to update my blog surging my mind..

before writing this, had reviewed my previous post..felt that..i was not that bad in writing blog huh? :P

Friends ask me that why am i rather using english but not chinese in composing my blog? ...I think.."troublesome" is playing quite a main role..haha..bsides,(i am not that expert in expressing my deep feeling by using chinese) hahaha!! sorry, CHKL.. :P doesnt mean that my english is good enough, however, hope to improve my writing skill instead..

Holiday-ing now..but i cant just fill it with dotA, FB, and sleep..=.= sooo...i think i will TRY my best, try to update my blog everyday.. ^.^ somemore i am planning to bake, get back to piano lesson and exercise..My aim is to have a SLIM SKINNY face!!! die hard to get it!

i am listening "alicia key-doesnt mean anything"...what a drug addicted pop..meaningful lyrics and enchanted melody.. love it! but "love" absolutely not a favourite topic for me.. Haiz, maybe its true..that, its totally not the problem that my personalities caused me to avoid "love"..its just, i am cowardly to face, to have it.. But i still believe that..someday, when fate comes, whatever how shit i am, i will say: "yes", to love.. yea..so, wait~............

4.09am!! omg, have to sleep now...

Dex-juice

2009-10-24T11:55:00.003+08:00

Promised that will update my blog weeks ago..Here to apologise that...My motivation being banished.. =.=

ahhh and, just recovered from sick..again..I think that the main reason is because the lack of sleep..Here's my daily timetable : =.=

Morning-school study ;
Noon-hanging out,gaming,facebook ;
Night-drama,gaming,hanging out again..

So..the only and only time and also chance for me to do revision--weekend=.= somemore I can't stay at home to review..Fortunately one of my friends is available to study together..complementarity..hehe.. ^.^

But..still that..I will try..spend a year-time to examined my concealed talent, whether is it I am on the right way..

Few affairs and littlest things happened recently but mostly faded away in my mind..Hardly still remember that my sis asked me whether is it people are working the whole life time for perfection? Or some kinds..
But what I've said to her is : People WILL just be perfect if they are not, everyone is unique with their shortcomings and merits..Perfection comes with no charm..

Agree that? ^.^

By the way..just want her to stop spending so much on her cosmetics and skin products :P

Have a nice day guys..and..keep your eyes on my blog k? :)

Reincarnation..

2009-09-19T14:02:00.002+08:00

2009/09/19 1404.. feel like re-open my blog..have been a long time didn't renew it. i think the main reason is the laziness dominated... =.=

recently,a lots happened... ahh..i realise that i will just post when i am stress or having something to share...

firstly,i met a german guy... haha..quite a funny man that always talk about girls... :P but he is really a nice guy that helped me alot..we WILL meet someday...trust me.. haha..

secondly, my uni life...quite enjoy, sometime...but a bit distract , sometime.. are me and my batch mates living in a different dimension world? ha! abit unadaptable about medical...i can threathen that my life would change totally...or else,i will withdraw it... =.= aihkks...

time always insufficient..going to end at 1417..have a date with friends.. ^.^ take a smile today..

Freezing Morning-post (04/06)

2009-06-04T07:50:00.004+08:00

Yeah! Finally i can get in to IMU for Medicine!!! WAaahhaha!!

Haiz...my hardwork paid off le....my Inteview,IELTS,MUET...(troublesome to register..photostat all documents...place to place like travel =.=) Fortunately,those worth! ^.^

But i kno this way i chose...i need to sacrifice more n more n more n more time into it... =.=

My friens...My family...My games.(=.=) But..i will try hard anyway...

If...choi choi choi! My year 1 didnt pass....Then....BIOMEDICAL!!! I m coming!! hahahaa!!!

Hope u will meet a Dr.Yeoh after 5 year from now!! :P (sooooooo yr de ma la...) hahha!!

Sumore..My bro KL-wedding dinner coming soon le~~~I kno it will tiring,but looking forward oso~~ ^.^ I am 伴郎 o!!~~~~

"Sacrificer"

2009-05-18T23:59:00.005+08:00

Haiz..dunno y.. i am always the one who sacrifice... To make the circumstances better, i have to do this... even i sacrificed my car...my time...my education... (damn depressed）

Sometime i wonder..if i strictly refuse those...will i be happier? or more suffer....

I hate this,hate "sacrifice" embedded in my fate..

Hope this word will fade away soon but, it come next again... =.=

I am not sure whether there still have a lot of sacrifice in my future.. Just hope "they" can come with bringing me happiness.. (Will "they"?) =.=

Sorry for long time din update my blog...and there are many detail that i am lazy to taip out...so srry...juz text me if u wan to kno... =.= dexyeoh@hotmail.com (my msn)

人有相似？。。

2009-05-04T00:37:00.005+08:00

erm...本来今天刚从kampar 做完 “兄弟” 回来，因该很累了。。。就算写blog..都应该是关于我哥wedding的东西吧。。

但。。不是！哈哈！！因为，我要等照片save进电脑后，才写。。（可以放照片嘛。。）^.^ erm,明天吧我想。。。

今天我为什么要写呢？因为啊，YR 说有个人有点像HY..wahaha!!

Don't get confuse...haha!!(YR is my frien,HY is my ex-frien..) =.=

没有啦，其实也不是什么大事情。。。=.= 这篇blog,我想也没什么point 而已。。哈哈！！

可我就是喜欢写！！！:P (read my profile pls.. )

希望有机会见到这位人士，我要看看是不是真的很像！！哈哈哈！！

erm...至于 HY 嘛。。。有机会再跟你们谈谈关于我和他的事吧。。=.=

（真的像吗？？。。） =.=

送给你的一首歌。。

2009-04-30T00:28:00.004+08:00

听过梁静茹的“属于”吗？歌里有一句 ：“ 我决定，我的决定。。”

刚刚，在meetoto 唱了这首歌。。其实，是送给我一位朋友的。。但不是关于爱情的。。
只是觉得，某些歌词很棒。。

真的，当听到你说时，有点惊讶，心情有点闷闷的。。可能是一时间接受不到吧。。

带点伤，因为我也只能taip “ haiz.. ; ask her la ; y de? ; zha dao lo.. "

我只能做的。。。哈，我也不知道。。只希望你们能平静的谈谈，解决问题。。

我不方便说太多，毕竟是别人的事。。没有必要要放上网吧。。

可能。。我真的有点过分神经了。。（真的需要酱夸张，酱烦恼？）=.= 或许我只希望我的朋友们都能快快乐乐。。顺顺利利。。

今天写这篇 blog 的目的? erm。。。

"朋友，试下去听听 “属于” 吧。。" ^.^

Dizziness ...

2009-04-23T22:36:00.004+08:00

今天有个小惊险旅程。。出到门后才发现电话没有钱了。。=.=

幸好有active 10 (不是在宣传。。）哈哈！叫我朋友帮我reload le... phew~~不然都不懂怎样联络朋友。。=.= ( 因为那时相约地点都还没肯定。。）=.=

又一次和你约出来了。。哈哈，每次都让我笑不少。。哈哈！不过，之后你所说的，让我一直想到现在。。哈。。真的不懂。。。

我要看开点呢，还是坚持？要stress,还是relax?可能。。我这一世人都做不出选择。。人生太多事情了。。做每件事情时，是抱着什么心态？太多太多。。烦！！！！！！

MUET ahh MUET ...haiz... Band 4 izit easy to get? i m dizzy..

“我有在烦恼吗？？”

笑着流泪

2009-04-23T00:36:00.001+08:00

最近听了很多歌曲。。仿佛找不回以往的一种感觉。。突然，今天在工作时，联想起了这一首歌--笑着流泪。。感觉很奇妙。。起初只记得旋律，连歌名都难以忆起。。也许吧，我也不想去记起。。

天意？笑着流泪。。歌曲依然，但感觉有差。。说真的，我真的忘了怎样唱了。。

1.17am.. 听着这首歌。。

说真的，有让我想起他咯。。朋友？好朋友？还记得以前半夜山更还在和他在电话里唱着这首歌。。哈哈。。傻的。。哈哈。。

我不知道他有没有后悔过。。但，我有。。我不想去相信“回味好过惋惜”。。朋友嘛。。

我也没有希望过他会看我的这篇 blog..但，是因为今天这件事，让我想去和cl问 blog 怎样 create 的。。以后会继续写吗？会吧。。

“ 我们说好不掉泪，离别那天却笑着流泪。。”

My life,my fate..

storyboard

淡淡的。。

I.C.U

Back to December..

杂 。 真

Sell Fish

Blog-chat

心结

Short but me.

杨心骏

星期二

想通了

Memorable day! ^.^

No need to view it, just----please try ur best to reply my sms

This is ME laaa...

2010.05.25 2338--with an empty heart..

No comment to give and shut up if you choose to view this!

Where's my lucky star?

Simple-meaningful D"ex"AY

Soaring Bird. I am Dex

Last Begging

X: mute :X

Dex-juice 11012010

Dex-juice

Reincarnation..

Freezing Morning-post (04/06)

"Sacrificer"

人有相似？。。

送给你的一首歌。。

Dizziness ...

笑着流泪

杂。真